February 9 Newsletter 

Hi, Family Leader,

Today, we're going to address three myths that parents MUST break away from in order to find their way as confident family leaders.

As parents, grandparents, and experienced leaders ourselves, we’ve led parents through the fires of doubt and confusion that exist for us all.

We’ve witnessed breakthrough after breakthrough by parents who come out feeling more capable and confident in their skills when they have the right guidance.

It's myth-busters time, friends!

Myth #1:

"Being more proactive with my kids takes too much time."


Key Point: If you don’t have time to teach them now, when are you going to have time to do it later?

While it’s absolutely true in life that there are times when efficiency rules, more often than not, some light planning can ease your pain points and make engaging your child in everyday activities a joy rather than a burden.

Just imagine ...

  • not spending half your waking hours picking up after your toddler because you’ve spent time walking through a complete cycle of play and put away a few hundred times! (Yes, the first hundred times takes longer, but it gets easier and faster every time.)

  • your six-your-old happily prepping the salad while you work at the stove because you’ve discussed healthy meal planning, gone to the store together to choose veggies, and practiced safe kitchen skills.

  • your teenager off to college feeling completely at ease because they’ve got life skills under their belt. You’ve had them practice making appointments on their own, asking for guidance or mentorship, taught financial responsibility, and, yes, even taught them how to do their own laundry! They. Are. Set.

These things happen when you start, as early as possible, talking through your expectations, building good habits, and introducing consequences (different than punishments) to behavior.

Being a confident parent is about trusting yourself and trusting your kids to have some idea of how to act and respond in the world. And the only way for them to learn is from you.

 

Myth #2:

"Other parents I see on social media have it all together. I’ll never be as good as they are."


Key Point: It's a lie. They definitely do NOT have it all together.

The thing about the internet is, no matter what you look for, you’ll find it. Looking to commiserate on baby issues? Or looking to make your kid’s lunches with adorable little sandwich animals that have eyes made of grapes? Are you a dad who wants to learn to do advanced braiding on your daughter’s hair?

You can find every niche imaginable online. Some are healthy, and some will wreck your sense of value and capability.

You cannot measure your own capabilities as a parent by following the trends featured in photos, videos, and on the blog posts of strangers. (Everything you see out there has been adjusted or made up out of thin air for the sake of appearances anyway.)

Establishing your confidence as a family leader means identifying the things in your life that matter the most to you (your values) and then pursuing only the activities and interests that support your family.

By identifying your values and priorities off-line, then your online time may be more fruitful to you.

More often than not, though, we recommend seeking real-life engagement through a coach, a course, or even a friend who has expertise over looking up information online. You don’t have to go into information overload there. It’s a waste of time, and instead of rendering a more productive and confident you, it makes a very confused and overwhelmed you.

 

Myth #3:

"I'll never feel confident as a parent. I don’t know what I’m doing."  


Key Point: That's a feeling, not a fact. The distinction is important.

How do you know that what you are doing to move your child forward is enough? You don’t. The only thing you can do, with assurance, is do your best to offer as many different kinds of experiences to your child as possible. In so doing, you prepare them to succeed, confidently, in the world of tomorrow that likely doesn’t even exist in reality today.

With the rapid rates of change in business, world economics, and popular culture, you cannot rely alone on passing on the intelligence you’ve learned in your life to prepare your child for their future.

As the leader of your family, it is your job—your opportunity—to prepare your child to be a critical thinker. That way no matter what challenges land before them … ones we surely can’t predict today … they’ll be ready to assess what’s going on and create a plan, with others, that leads them all to a successful future.

You can feel confident today that by engaging your kids in real-life experiences, trying and failing and trying again, you are building capacity in your kids that will serve them the rest of their lives.

 

Why is believing in the three myths problematic?


... because believing in these three myths will cripple you from taking action.

Your confidence gets affected, you don't seek guidance, and, subsequently, you don't allow yourself to grow into your role as family leader.

You have the capacity to be an incredible family leader! When it feels tough to let your children try things on their own and potentially fail at them, remember that for the rest of their adult lives you will not be around for every tough emotional situation or urgent financial one.

They must learn to trust their own instincts and decision-making capabilities. You doing all the work while they’re young robs them of that potential.

You becoming a confident family leader is about moving past these pain points of not being enough, or not living up to an external standard, and instead learning the right strategies and putting them to work.

So take heart, Family Leader. You can do this! Don't doubt yourself for a second.

See you next week when we’ll have a sweet story for a family Valentine’s celebration.

Cheers,

The Birth2Work Family

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P.S. We’d love to hear what myths about parenting YOU think parents should get away from. Hit "reply" to this email and, with your permission, we’ll share them with the Birth2Work community on Facebook!

P.P.S. Skipped to the bottom? Toss out the parenting myths of not having enough time and fears of inadequacy or not being good enough in order to move forward in establishing yourself as a family leader. You can do it!